Can you tell me a little about yourself and the work you do online?
I am a sexual wellness coach and online content creator. I use unconventional ways, digitally, to bridge the gap around sexual topics/education. Through my own experiences as well as a lot of research, I provide information that generally isn’t spoken about and is seen as “taboo”, especially for a black woman in Africa. I use my social media platforms, to disseminate this information for others to access and learn from. I am also a sexual worker as I have an Onlyfans account.
Why did you start this account and what has the experience been like?
I started my YouTube channel (my main platform to provide information) due to the lack of accessible information around sexual topics. The response has been great, especially internationally which highlights the need and value of the work I do. I started my Onlyfans account mostly out of interest and curiosity and to make money. The response on Onlyfans has been great, except from South African men. They’re very entitled, rude and demanding.
How do you define pleasure for yourself?
I define pleasure for myself as satisfaction from how I look, feel and feel myself. Hence documenting it.
What pleasures do you access online?
I don’t generally access pleasure online, unless it’s me watching me. I turn myself on as it’s a reminder of the feeling in the moment, and is realistic to me.
Do you feel safe expressing your pleasure online?
Not always. I understand that the kind of pleasure I express online has repurchasing as I am in a very vulnerable position. However, it’s generally safer for me, as it’s online and I have more control over my physical space. It’s my emotional and mental well being that I find I need to safeguard.
What has been your experience of online sex work, if any?
At first it was empowering as I had autonomy over what I do with my body, in the comfort of my home. But now it feels like a job and the empowerment and fun has gone. This is based on the expectations and pressures from consumers..
Have you experienced online gender based violence?
Definitely, daily. The verbal abuse received, especially from men, is something that I deal with regularly.
Would you be comfortable sharing examples of the OGBV you’ve experienced and on which platforms?
Most men on Instagram are quite demanding. They always want exclusive nudes and are extremely rude or start to blackmail me with threats of hacking my account, if they don’t get what they demand. The words “bitch” “Fuck you hoe” “your fucking pussy is…” are a few of the things that get said when they don’t get their way.
How did it affect you? Did any of your online behaviour change as a result?
Yes. I have since been more cautious of my security, and have more “protection” in order to protect my profiles from an online perspective. I also have a lot more consultants that I work with in order to protect myself and the integrity of my brand.
What ‘digital self care’ do you do, if any? (Blocking preemptively, digital detoxes, etc)
I block/restrict immediately. Unfortunately I can’t do detoxes as much as I would like, as it affects my consistency and therefore affects my income. However, I do ensure that I don’t put pressure on myself to post unwillingly. That way, the content is quality as it is at my own pace, so as to not break my momentum and ownership.
What does would a feminist internet look, feel and function like to you?
Men and women would equally be represented online. The discrimination and sexualisation of women, would be eradicated and not just from and online point of view, but from a social, economic, psychological and mental point of view.
What guidance would you offer young women and queer people looking to access knowledge around or experiences of pleasure online?
Don’t only believe one source of information. Look for credible sources, research further and don’t be afraid to ask questions.
Three tips that you think make for a good nude?
1. Obviously confidence
2. An oiled up/moisturized clean body
3. Explore your body’s angles till you get the ones you enjoy most
Images are Lindiwe’s (she/her)
